Like all young guys, I had huge dreams about life after graduating from the college. How ever, at 25, doctors diagnosed me with the mental illness paranoid schizophrenia. I struggled to keep my job at wherever I worked, as I felt people were so much obsessed about getting rid of me and ruin my life.

Even though I got a good job in an insurance company, I started waking up so late in the afternoons and skipping office. Due to the fear about a conspiracy to kill me by some people, I left my apartment and started living with my parents. Though I did not reveal my fear, they took me to a psychiatrist’s clinic out of worry regarding my crumbling career. He prescribed me some anti-depressants.

How ever, things did not get any better as my beliefs about conspiracy to kill me became stronger and I felt that my neighbours have big hand in it. Out of fear, I sent them mails saying, “Please spare me or I will take you on.” They caught me and considering my state of mind, they admitted me in crisis center. I underwent treatment there.

While I was at the crisis center, doctor prescribed me Risperdal. From the people there, I learned that my response to the medicine was positive. Soon I got rid of my fears about conspiracy. As I attended activities in the center actively, and behaved well, authorities were cordial to me.

After leaving the crisis center, I gave my best effort, to be normal. I found some part-time jobs and later I got a full time job departmental store. However, I wished for a job, which was in line with my interests. Since I was interested in drawing cartoons, I started working as a cartoonist in a magazine. Impressed by the cartoons a daily newspaper recruited me to draw contemporary cartoons. I could not retain the job for long. I gave up the medication, as I found difficult to keep up the schedule and I I started worrying again again. I started drawing malicious cartoons about famous people without thinking much. After getting complaints from individuals, they fired me.

I did not take medication afterwards. I kept working in various companies in short notice. Eight months was the longest duration for which, I retained a job, and it was in a drug-manufacturing factory. I started living in a new apartment with hostile neighbours. I had frequent fights with them over issues. One day they came as a group and attacked me with motto of eviction. I was hospitalized as I ended up with nasty injuries, while police arrested them.

After leaving hospital, though I went to my parents’ apartment for staying, as I was not taking medication, they forcefully hospitalized me again. This time doctors put me with people recovering from mental illness. Finally, I accepted the very fact that I had illness. From the experiences shared by the fellow inmates, I trained myself in not fighting or ignoring that I have mental illness.

After recovering, I got a job in an agency working for the welfare of immigrants. For the first time in life, I retained a job for more than 3 years after finishing my studies 14 years ago. This is my story of schizophrenia.